Friday, June 22, 2018

The Kolkata Report #13

The Kolkata Report #13
As a child, I was never given spicy food to eat. I suppose much of my early childhood was spent in being rather sickly and suffering from a plethora of major and minor illnesses. My poor mother, in desperation fed me all kinds of foods suitable for invalids and others in like situations, in the hopes of strengthening my constitution. It was rather sad that she, an excellent and creative cook, kept such insipid pabulum for me, while everyone else had wonderful foods. After all that was said and done, my refusal to eat such foods as were ear marked for me, got me firmly labelled as a picky eater. There are few creatures in the world as anxious and desperate as mothers from South Asia, that feel constantly that their children are imminently facing death from starvation, between meals. And my dear mother, was a champion amongst them. Her panacea for the evil of my indifferent appetite was a large glass of hot milk, which I loathed. Other than that, various egg preparations, chicken, meat and of course fish (after all we are Bengalis, and fish is our staple food), were routinely made in stews, roasts, soups and made to slip down my gullet. There was a point to it. I suffered from terrible and debilitating bouts of tonsillitis, which made eating difficult. But a tonsillectomy at age 6, made history of all that. Yet, my appetite remained iffy. When I was nearly 8 years old, I was packed off to a boarding school in the mountains, where I learned to eat voraciously, along with all the other children.
A few years later, I was yanked out of that school and began to attend a new school in the big city of Calcutta, where my father had just been posted. Finally, my mother exclaimed with satisfaction, we were in a civilized place with civilized schools.
By now, I was eating at par with all others of my age group. I did not particularly enjoy the sandwiches we ate for lunch at school, but every now and then, I would poach some Chinese sausages from my friend Katy's lunch box. They cured the sausages at home, along with chilli and perhaps soy sauces. Everything from her lunch box was indescribably delicious. For a while, the school enabled us to eat at the adjacent sister college, where my sister studied. There was a canteen there, that served chicken cutlets, french fries and my great favorite, baked beans. At first I was gawky with using a knife and fork, but driven by hunger, I mastered the use of utensils quickly.
Calcutta was a cosmopolitan city with a rich heritage of cuisines not just of the four corners of India, but also of the Chinese, English, Portuguese, Dutch, French, Danish, Middle Eastern and Italian. My mother cooked in the distinctive styles of East Bengali foods, the delicately spiced Dhakai, the gutsier Barisali and the fiery spicy Chittagong styles. We also loved the southern Indian flavours, that she cooked rather well, having learned that new cuisine as a new bride in south India, The best foods, were however, the simplest fish curry and rice, the robust mutton curries and dals of northern India and fresh hot wheaten phulka pan breads. My mother, like many Bengali mothers, believed that small fishes like pabda, koi, tangra and mourala, were the best foods for building good brains in children. 'Phosphorus', she claimed, 'That's what you eat in small fish , that brings you brain power'. Some day, a scientific paper may lend credence to her claim, though we just ate it all because it tasted good.
We had said goodbye to food for invalids, with such goodies like 'gawla bhat' (a soft gruelly rice dish with boiled eggs and vegetables), and 'pish pash' (another gruelly rice dish, an Anglo Indian invention, with chicken and sometimes lamb, cooked with whole spices to extreme tenderness). We also bid goodbye mercifully to a horrible raw egg smoothie, called an Egg Flip, which claimed to give its drinkers an immediate energy boost, if they did not suffer from immediate nausea.
At about this time, my dear father, who had spent his early teenage years in north Calcutta, took to rediscovering the rich culinary heritage of that part of town. He found in me, a willing accomplice in sampling the delights of the kitchen and table. Anadi Cabin's Moghlai Paratha, Basanta Cabin's Kabiraji Cutlet (right across the street from his Alma Mater, and for a few months, mine- The Scottish Church College), the nameless countless places that sold fresh fritters called Telebhaja and Fuluri, the delectable Jhal Muri, spiced puffed rice, and many others. Then there was this shop that specialized in exotic flavoured 'Sharbats'. Every few years, it had changed ownership, but its name always varied between two; it was either Paragon or Paradise. Of course both were apt, and its products, a dozen or so of flavoured and natural fruit beverages, unfailingly delighted.
The slow incursion of Gujarati and Marwari snacks and farsan into other areas of the city, followed the spread of these communities out of their usual homes in the Burrabazar area. The chaat and Puchka man became a common place sight, though their products made of unhygienic ingredients, sickened many. Even so, it was impossible to resist the siren call of these hot and spicy foods, eaten with the same thrill of perhaps encountering and escaping from a man eating tiger in the forest. With a silent prayer to the Gods for protection against gastroeneritis, food poisoning and 'jaundice', we gorged on this stuff, anyway.
Across from the Dhakuria Lakes, on a sidewalk by the Vivekananda Park, there now is the establishment of one Dilipda. He is a celebrity Fuchka maker (the name Puchka had evolved into Fuchka in some thirty years). He is much sought after, flown across the country for celebrity parties and even for creating chaats for the erstwhile British Prime Minister David Cameron, on his visit to Kolkata (yes the name Calcutta has also changed to Kolkata). He returns to the humble sidewalk stall, and with unfailing courtesy, serves you the incredibly delicious, mouth tingling Fuchkas. his Fuchka water is is made with bottled water, fresh tamarind and a blend of spices, that his father perfected. He gives you a hand sanitizer and also some water to wash your hands with at the start and finish of your eating adventure.
When we moved to south Calcutta in the 1960s, a fledgling television program debuted. Everyone rushed to buy the black and white ECTV company brand televisions, sometimes waitlisted for months. Every Thursday, there used to be a program called 'Phool Khiley HaiN Gulshan Gulshan' (Beautiful flowers are blooming), hosted by an ebullient host called Tabassum, whose coy mannerisms drove many wild with joy and others take a derisive position. However, everyone watched replays of song and dance sequences from popular movies, with the same avidity as people watch the final games of major sports tournaments.
On those days, and when no one felt like cooking, we would send our cook to a local South Indian dorm and kitchen, called the Ramakrishna Lunch Home, which sold a small quantity of food to the public, other than what was needed for its residents. The food was well cooked and served in clean premises. Last week, I walked down past the place at 8 pm on a Sunday evening. A crowd waited on the sidewalk, with tickets for the waiting line. The Manager emerged and called out ' Number Forty Seven, for 5 people!'
I guess it isn't a small lunch home any more, but lives on as an iconic restaurant with consistently good though limited menu, holding its own against fancier eateries and a nod to the adage- Good quality is the hall mark of success.
A number of Bengali eateries have also sprouted up all over, with a few chain restaurants like Bhaja Hari Manna (named after a famous 'eating' character from Bengali literature), 6 Ballygunj Place. They do serve great food, the former calling itself a Pice Hotels, which were humble eateries serving homestyle foods cheaply, for labourers, and sailors (Calcutta is a sea faring port city, though many miles upstream from the Bay of Bengal). However, my favorite Bengali Restaurant will always be Kewpie's, which pioneered this food trend. Named after its late owner, who acquired this name as a child, undoubtedly because she looked like a Kewpie doll, this restaurant, for me, is the gold standard in Bengali cuisine. You must eat Shukto here, to know what awesome is.
I had in an earlier report, explored the rich heritage of Bengali confectionary and have explored other types of foods in this. I know I have not covered all the wonderful eateries that serve the mughlai and Awadhi style of foods- yes, they are very different. The deposed Nawab of Awadh (Oudh to the British), Wajid Ali Shah, spent the waning years of his life in this city, in a palace near the water front. To his cooks go the credit of the Calcutta Biriyani, a distinctly different recipe and taste as well the inclusion of potatoes in the dish. Those foods, still live on in places like Arsalan, Aminia and many other nameless Biriyani places scattered all over the Kidderpore and Park Circus areas.
At the end of the day- mothers kitchens everywhere rule.
As my late grandmother used to say, about my foodie cousin, Haruda, 'Where Maida and Ghee have come together to form Luchi, Haru is definitely to be found there'. And there are Harudas everywhere on every weekend morning when Luchi Torkari reigns supreme!
May 25, 2018

The Kolkata Report #12

The Kolkata Report #12 
Rant Alert!
It is hot and humid. Not much can be done about that. The month of Jaishtha is typically hot. This year, there have been big fat storms, full of lightning, thunder and rain, every few days. For a brief few hours after the storms, the temperature drops to bearable and even enjoyable levels, Then the heat begins to rise as the day begins. 
Yesterday, I had just finished my daily work inspection of a home being renovated. Things were moving along slowly, but according to schedule. Well almost.
This month, has seen the closure of the banks for 4 days at a stretch, elections in the rural areas, from where the work force come to work from, and the aforementioned storms. Yet, the construction industry needs to move along regardless of interruptions. i have great admiration for the men and women who have to slog through this almost unbearable heat, to set food on the table for their families. I understand that they need to rest frequently and hydrate. With them I have no complaints, I am just grateful that they show up and do their work. I never quibble about their wages. And they respond to the smallest kindnesses in ways with such gratitude, that it breaks my heart. If I have a rant about this, it is that Life is so unfair for many. I have a rant too, about the squeeze that employers force upon their employees at times. A spike in productivity is not sustainable if the people responsible for that spike are not able to sustain that effort. The number of work shirks are actually not as many as we imagine, I believe. Most people enjoy working, if they can do what truly interests them.
On the way back from my inspection site, I decided to stop at and examine an open air shopping complex, set up by the local government, to showcase the emporia of different Indian states and and also other businesses that lend ancillary support to them. This complex has a thriving southern sibling, which is one of my favorites. Perhaps it was the blast of heat, or perhaps the sight of a lot of shuttered shops, or even the rabbit warren like corridors flanked by stores selling cheap, poor quality merchandise, that irritated me. A few people ambled through the space, with less than reasonable cleanliness. The whole place smelled of impending failure. I made one purchase at the Garvi Gujarat store, from an unsmiling manager, and fended off the smiling saleswoman, who insisted on showing me what I did not want to see; while blithely telling me that there was only limited stock here.
Then I went to Park Street, the supposedly swank area of town. I am quite familiar with this part of town, not because I have anything to do with swank, but because my school is right around the corner from here, the steeple of St. Thomas's Church, visible easily. The church is a part of my school's complex. School has broken for summer vacations, and the street in front of it is now a giant parking lot, managed by the city of Kolkata. If you have a lot of cars in this part of the world, you also have a lot of blaring car horns. Even to park a car, people blow the car horns.It is an universal phenomenon though, when a car is backing into a spot, some pedestrian will appear and step into that place, even if it for a couple of seconds. That never fails.
Park Street broke my heart. The whole place looks shabby,with a crass jumble of stores, many of which are shuttered and many plastered with unwanted posters. The pavers on the sidewalks are uneven, broken and dangerously misaligned. The 'flower beds' now with an assortment of shrubs and blighted trees, are littered with styrofoam pieces of broken packaging material, foil packs and even broken terracotta cups.
Street hawkers have proliferated, now there are at least half dozen, selling grimy magazines and sensational best sellers with pot boiler stories.
I step into Flury's, a 'Swiss confectionary' store, the once elegant old world place of impossibly delicious cakes and pastries. I am ushered in by a smartly dressed set of security guards at the door, with a crisp salute. These security guards are now commonplace at every mall and department store. they carry screening wands, and the women guards inspect handbags. The spectre of theft is obviously hovering about all the time. I don't object to this, but I find it unsettling. I stroll in and after an indifferent waiter in a brown uniform- vaguely motions in the direction that I should sit, I find a place in the center of the 'tea room'. Another man comes along and sits at the next table. He summons the waiter loudly, and places his order. He looks like he is a regular here. Then he takes off his sandals, and sits cross legged on his seat. In the long ago past, I would do this surreptitiously in the cinema halls; but never in the glare of the public eye.
No one takes my order, though quite a few waiters stroll past listlessly back and forth. One comes and fills my glass with water and is never seen again.
I decide to summon a waiter like my neighbour. One turns up, looking a bit surprised that I called him. I place my order, I want a bowl of soup- mushroom, and a croissant. He nods and writes down the order and disappears. I wait for 25 minutes. It has been about forty minutes that I have been here, and waited. It isn't even busy. No reason to give excuses for being busy. Then my exasperation rises and snaps. I walk to the cashier and demand to see the Manager. He's 'not available at this time', I am told. Now I'm angry. He must be available, a customer wants to complain, I counter, in a manner that is not characteristic of me. I mean business and lock my eyes with the cashier, who is the de facto manager. He blinks in the stare down, but is saved somewhat from utter ignominy, by the appearance of the manager, who appears with a few other people, laughing and joking. He senses trouble but before he can escape, I accost him. I hurl the verbal equivalent of boiling hot oil in his direction. He looks uneasily at my waiter, who tries to stammer an excuse.
Does it take forty five minutes for a customer to get a bowl of soup at lunch time? I demand loudly.
Pinned down, he shakes his head- No ma'am. He is at a loss for words.
Then he glares at the waiter, who disappears. In the meantime, the cashier has alerted the kitchen, and someone has placed the bowl of soup at my table.
I go back and sit down. Suddenly, the waiters seem to have got a recharge on their batteries and are whizzing around, quite differently from their earlier somnolent manner. I summon my waiter, and this time he comes immediately.
'Where is my croissant?' I ask. I carry on the demanding customer act. He apologizes and vanishes, to return with a soggy microwaved croissant. I debate with myself about sending it back. But now, I am worn out. I let it pass. But not without giving his rather grimy apron a withering look. Standards have really fallen, and people just accept that. hus, they won't improve.
The taste of the food is good. At least that bit is alright.
Lunch over, I walk to my favorite book store on the other footpath. A particularly dirty glass store front catches my eye. It the the flagship store, I suppose, of an Ayurvedic empire, headed by a supposed Yogi. Ironically, he loudly champions the Clean India campaign. 
The entrance to the hoary old Asiatic society property is now jammed with illegal ramshackle stores, selling water, chewing tobacco, potato chips and other 'tiffin snacks'. A car is coming through the crowd of people milling about the entrance, I count them- one horn blast per second for the minute it takes to get through.
Just ahead, a tree has been enclosed in a chequered tile plinth, and has a makeshift temple with 6 unidentifiable idols, A torn black umbrella hangs from the tree, supposedly shielding the Gods and Goddesses from the elements. The whole ramshackle and ugly spectre holds no charm. 
My favourite book store is now a multipurpose boutique like place. The shelves where there were translated Bengali classics, now houses a tea collection. Slowly the books have been shunted to the back of the store. My horror and outrage though, is kept for the front of the store, where the music and film section is now filled with shelves of cheap plastic toys and pink Chinese made teddy bears, wrapped in cellophane.
I give up.
We don't know when and how to treasure the best parts of the city and our lives. Flashy, bright, cheap and convenient has taken over everything. I look to the heavens and see a hugely tangled and messy bunch of electrical cables.
I have to escape from this dead, grimy place of today, that lives in my memory as beautiful.
So utterly sad.

The Kolkata Report #11

The Kolkata Report # 11
Anyone who knew my family when I was a child, will remember my mother's exasperation with my obsession with animals. Actually, what I have is a genetic 'dosh' (fault), according to my late mother. It started, in the recorded history of our family, with my paternal grandmother Sarala Sundari Gupta, and is carried down to my son, via my dad Ajit and then myself. I am glad that the genetic defect manifests in many others in our extended families, thanks to our common mater familias ancestor.
Being a sickly child, with imminent death hovering above my head on several occasions, my mother relented and allowed me what happiness I could derive from my zoophilia. Indeed, by the time I was about 8 years old, we had a veritable mini zoo at our home in Katihar, in Bihar. It helped that we lived in a large government bungalow with huge grounds, where the various animals were variously scattered and housed, far away from my zoophobic mother. However, she became, by default and great unwillingness, the zoo keeper, even while getting rather fond of our four dogs and the rhesus monkey. Her interest and oversight of the other animals was much reduced, the animals being cared for by other keepers. The animals, namely a cheetal deer, some 50 rabbits and some 30 guinea pigs, 3 cows, 1 rooster and 4 hens, and a large pNuti fish that was still alive when brought into our kitchen, and whose life was spared due to my tearful entreaties, lived a comfortable life, and I spent many happy hours with them until I was packed off to a residential school in the Himalayan mountains, in the hopes of becoming healthier.
Then came the much needed downsizing of our menagerie, with my mother gladly presiding over the division and rehoming of the various animals. We moved to the big city of Calcutta, with just the dogs and the hens and the rooster.
Eventually, we were left with just one dog, when we shifted into a much busier locality in Calcutta, and that too, was one that I brought from from a neighbor's home, as she was an unwanted puppy. That dog, Tippy Gupta lived to a ripe old age and won the hearts of the entire family due to her almost impeccable manners.
Well, with Tippy at home, we really didn't have room for more animals, other than the misadventure we had with some roosters. I believe I wrote about that much earlier.
Even so, I was like a magnet for the stray dogs of our 'para' or locality with at least three of them, later named Haripada, Kalipada and Jagaddhatri (Jaggi), who accompanied me to the bus stop in the mornings to see me off to school and accompany me home from the bus stop in the evenings. How they figured out my schedule, I don't know. But I am happy and comforted that they did. So I sallied forth with these 'smiling' dogs, their tails wagging and an occasional happy 'woo ooo ooo' doggie call. They scrounged around the Lake Market and were quite well nourished. In Bengali, we say 'Hrishto, Pushto' (lively, and well fed).
They passed on when I left Calcutta, and their descendants are probably still around.
In my current home, several blocks away from my old home, there were two black and white 'street dogs', very likely brothers, until a few years ago. Now there is just one; I believe the other succumbed to a leg injury caused by a car, when he failed to get up quickly from a deep slumber, being taken right in the road. This sibling is rather more cautious; preferring to sleep in the safety of a nearby roadside eatery, at times sleeping on the very counter top where food would be served a few hours later. There is a vagrant, who does odd jobs for the eatery and sleeps there at night. He loves the dog and they snuggle on winter nights, in a local version of a One Dog Night.
The eatery also supports other kinds of wildlife, the chief being huge rats, that have burrowed large tunnels underground nearby. They clamber all over the place, scrounging on leftovers and foods thrown away. The city of Kolkata has not been able to remove these illegal eateries and other pavement hawkers due to a lack of political will, afraid of 'uprooting the poor' and of denting their vote banks.
Then along with the rats, come an army of feral cats.Naturally. The Circle of Life, after all, demands that prey are balanced by predators. 
In my old house, a short distance away, there were two tomcats that fought for their turfs, inexplicably on a an asbestos roof top of a small shed. Their caterwauling and fighting was especially intense during the mating season. They didn't care if people threw buckets of water on them to stop them, which they did from neighboring roof tops, The fighting would end when one hurled the other off from the roof. There was a Jamrul (rose apple) tree by that roof top. The next morning one could go and pick up a few that had fallen when the cats fought.
Yesterday, I went to the Kalighat Temple, as my faith demands I do, on a bare foot pilgrimage in the last 200 feet. There was a strange mewing of a cat from somewhere in the car. It was especially insistent and distressed when I got into the car. My driver said he had been hearing it for some time in the morning. He couldn't trace where the mewing was coming from.
I got out of the car and began to look under the chassis. We could find nothing even though the cat continued its piteous cries. As happens famously in Kolkata, within minutes, a small crowd assembled, and began to help in tracing the cat; to no avail.
We decided to drive on and finish our errands. After having been to two places about 10 miles apart, the cat mewing off and on (obviously it was still alive and somehow enduring the extreme heat of the day), we stopped for lunch. A new search party emerged from the bystanders willing and able to assist the driver. 
This time around, the cat was found, lodged in the space behind the mudguard of the front passenger wheel. It required a little assistance to free it, and it bounded away. It was a young, white cat, unharmed, as was evident in the way it raced away.
I was thankful that it was unhurt. But at night, I lay awake, thinking of the terror it had endured and that it was so very far away from home. So it is for so many creatures and people all over the world.
May 18, 2018

The Kolkata Report #7

Kolkata Report #7
I had to go to Kolkata Municipal Corporation to pay some overdue taxes. Not overdue by much, but still..
I had fairly easily paid them online last year, feeling thankful for the ease of the process. In the hoary past, some person of the family would have to go to the Municipality's office for the ward, and spend a long time in a queue to make this payment, after spending a long time in another queue to get the bill and payer verified (why the latter, heaven alone knows). It used to be a tedious and exhausting, time consuming process.After this mettle testing exercise, one came away with lighter pockets, than for just paying the amount of the bill, if one could pay for a bill 'adjuster'. Yes, read that as a 'tout', who would work in tandem with the municipality workers on the other side of the counter.
With the marvels of ecommerce and ebilling and epayment, the KMC finally broke loose of the system. Life became easier for all but the touts.
But do they just melt away in the shadows? Probably not. I might have just missed an encounter with one, unless there are people who are still practicing random acts of kindness in this cruel world.
Anyhow, this year, the KMC threw a spanner in the works by requiring people to 'self assess' their taxes, based on the size of the property. We have an old house, whose plans have long disappeared. It is not easy to figure out the exact area. Wanting to be 'pukka' as they say in India (translated- 'firmly correct'), I determined to go to the Municipal office for help. There was even a Municipal appointed and approved document preparer, who was paid by the Municipality for his or her services, and free for the payers. Quite a departure from the past, it seemed.I decided to use this service.
It was a searing hot day with a sopping humidity. I was loath to go out anywhere. The airconditioner was humming non stop, keeping up with the thermostat, which had its work cut out. Wanting to minimise the time spent outdoors, I googled the hours of service of the Municipality office. I was somewhat surprised to see that though most of the Municipality offices closed at time honored 3 pm, this large facility, serving most of the southern district of the city would be open till 5 pm. Or so said google.
It seemed too good to be true. But one never knows. With an effort to improve services, perhaps this was an added benefit, for those who couldn't make it in by 3 p.m. Perhaps, many people would still rush in by 3 pm and and then the last two hours would be a relatively calmer time. I resolved to go at 3 pm.
The offices are on the top floor of a building that also houses a major market called Gariahat, to be reached after.a punishing climb of 3 floors over stairwells of various alignments, past several overflowing garbage cans, and dodging various blind ends of hallways that lead to nowhere. To I arrive at 3.10 pm. The young guard at the door of a large hall near the entrance, tells me that the offices close at 3 pm, before ducking into the hall, past a formidable looking iron collapsible gate.
I try to argue with his disappearing back about the website hours of operation. He glances back and points to a scrap of paper with the hours printed. Yes 3 pm, the closing hour. I have missed the deadline. Or have I? My horoscope in the newspaper did say that I would prevail in every battle and tricky situation of today. So they lied and google lied and I am very annoyed. A older man stands right beneath a 'No Smoking' sign, smoking a cigarette and looking at me with pity in his eyes, I want to hate him for smoking and like him for being kindly. Then suddenly, a scruffily dressed young man approaches me with a little chit in his hand. It is a door ticket docket with a time listed on it as 2.40 p.m.
'Madam', he says in the respected manner in which this word is used in this part of the world, 'I have to leave, because I cannot wait any longer. You can have my ticket, if you like'.
I am a little hesitant, as I process this new development. Is he a tout, offering me a time ticket 'for a small sum'?
He senses my question- 'You can just have it', he says 'I heard you tell the guard that you thought the office stays open till later.I am leaving and this ticket is of no value to me. You can use it if you like'. He is plainly in a hurry. I take the ticket, expecting him to name a price. But he turns and briskly walks away, to a nearby staircase and disappears out of sight. The smoker looks sagely. 'You can take the time ticket and go in instead of that boy', he tells me. I had yet to figure out what the purpose of this hall was, whether it is even where I will find the tax preparer, when I got embroiled in this minor drama!
I ask the smoker in Bengali, 'Is this a general enquiry hall or is it a specific office?
'Ekhanei shob hoy', he replies (translated- This is where everything happens). Ah! I have found the mother lode!
When the guard wrenches open the collapsible gate to let out someone, the smoker, now having finished his cigarette, and I enter. The guard challenges me- 'The office is closed, madam'.
'I have a ticket!' I reply triumphantly.
He looks dubious, but he checks the ticket and somewhat reluctantly lets me enter.
The hall is large and mercifully, air conditioned. I sit in the stainless steel chairs along with a crowd of people. This is a new regime and this comfort while waiting is an unexpected delight, compared with the past. My number is about 60 tickets later. It seems that the tickets are being cleared fairly fast, about three to five minutes a ticket, over 4 counters. A young man, sitting next to me, is waiting to pay his taxes as well. He has a tax form in his hand. I strike up a conversation with him. Was it difficult to do the self assessment? I ask. He looks uncomprehendingly at me at first, 'No', he says, 'I just went over to that Dada (big brother) over there at counter number 1, and he generated my bill right away'.
I thank him and rush over to counter 1, which seems outside the purview of the ticket system.
The man there is pleasant. Yes, he is the man in charge of generating the bill.
'What about the assessment?', I ask.
'O shob niye chinta korben na, shob i thik achhe, he says soothingly. (translated- Oh, don't worry about all that, it is all sorted out).
He clicks on various points on his computer screen and my bill gets printed out. They are still making good use of the dot matrix printer here, I note. Why not? If it works, it works.
Before long I pay my taxes and make my way out.
The guard wants to have the last word. 'Madam. I saw how you got your ticket. I was inside but could see you, You did not do the right thing.'
'Your office timings were posted wrong on the internet. Why is it my fault if I used a valid ticket within the time allowed?', I respond.
'That internet timing post is impossible'
'No, that is what it is'
'All Municipality offices close at 3 pm'
'That's not what the website says'
We argue back and forth, mixing up internet, website, wifi access and all similar terms.
'Jai howk, apnar kaaj ta toh holo' he concludes (translated- Anyway, your work got done).
'Haan, holo, Thank you' (yes indeed Thank you).
'No mention, Madam', he says, closing the collapsible gate on me.
May 7, 2018

The Kolkata Report #10

The Kolkata Report #10
Food! Food! Food!
When I grew up in this cosmopolitan city, the my family's preference in sweets belonged to the iconic chain of Jalajog. It was extremely famous for its 'Mishti Doi', a sweetened caramel Yogurt, which prompted an exclamation of delight from Bengal's Poet Laureate, Rabindra Nath Tagore - likening it to the wonderful sea ('Payodhi') with waves of flavor. So it was that my mother, an avid and passionate fan of all things Rabindra Nath, would have only that Payodhi from Jalajog.
Unfortunately, Jalajog passed on, prey to the banal lack of vision of its non Bengali owners, who bought the struggling chain and reduced it to selling sandwiches.
From the past, there have been several very famous 'mishti r dokan' (Sweet shops) in Kolkata, in continuous operations for almost a century. Many of them are phenomenally successful and are not just iconic in themselves but also have iconic products. Roshogolla, the sweet most associated with Bengali cuisine, first made its debut in the local markets, in 1868, crafted by the master confectioner Nabin Chandra Das. His grandson moved his store from the flagship North Calcutta venue to Kalighat in 1955. One doesn't actually have to go there to buy the famous delicacy, stewed ricotta balls in heavy syrup; it is available all over the world- in cans with the label K.C. Das Grandsons 'A tradition of sweets'.
Then there are others- Girish Chandra Dey and Nakur Chandra Nandy, famously just called Nakur, whose dozens (more than 60) of fancy varieties of delectable sandesh (caramelized ricotta) have delighted gourmands from even earlier, 1844. Thus Sandesh can pull rank when it comes to a battle of historic sweets. The sandesh go with impossibly exotic names- Parijat- one of the five celestial trees of heaven, Jolbhara- water filled- (actually it is condensed palm sap), Monohara ('the lost heart), Dilkhush (the glad heart), Kachagola (soft cooked), Kora Pak ( firm cooked), Blackforesh (a version of Black Forest confections) and so on, Everyone is delicious.
Then there is Dwarik Grandsons- part of Calcutta's urban folklore since 1885, with its signature Mihidana (tiny deep fried chickpea fritters, soaked in syrup), Sitabhog (a snowy white rice and chhana or ricotta based sweet, lightly flavoured and sweetened- a tender offering for the beautiful Sita, the queen of Sri Ram Chandra), and several other unique ones. It was perhaps the first sweet shop in the form of a restaurant, where people could sample what was obviously a dazzling display of sweets, or perhaps a place for instant grtification for those who could not wait to go home and eat! Their breakfast offerings of luchi and chholar dal (the fried pillows of wheat with a sweet fiery split chickpea stew), and Radhaballabhi (a spicy stuffed fried bread with the fancy name of Krishna's- 'the support of Radha') still handily supports the hungry hordes that descend on the establishment every morning.
Then there is the chain of Balaram Mullik and Radharaman Mullick,, confectioners since 1885 as well, I was quite distressed to see their newly revamped and modernized stores, now selling strange things like vegetable Chow Mein and Chhole Bhaturey, deep fried spongy breads with chickpea gravy, a North Indian intruder. My alarm was mitigated to find that the quality of their Bengali sweets had not suffered.
Every locality has its own Bengali confectionary store and many of them make extraordinary signature sweets and savouries. Near a backwater in the southern locality of Jadavpur, there is a store called Madhukkhara (the Beehive), which has the best Bengali shingara I have had in a long while. They make them at 3 pm, and they are sold out by 3.30 pm. Now a word about the Bengali shingara is needed. It is a much smaller cousin of the ubiquitous North Indian samosa and rather different, Its tender pastry crust hides a deliciously Bengali spiced filling of potatoes, peas, winter cauliflower, and peanuts. It demands total concentration and silence to eat it with respect!
One has many many other places now selling all kinds of sweets and savories from Punjab (Punjabis have had a very long presence in the city's transportation system), Gujarat and Marwar (the Gujaratis and Marwaris are backbone of commerce and trading), Chinese eateries (Hakka Chinese guest workers came centuries ago and settled), South Indian regional cooking- no everything is not just 'Madrasi- there is Tamilian, Kerala, Telugu, Udipi and fusion styles to be had, (you can have dosas and chow mein at the same street stall in many places), and of course, the 'Pice Hotels' where homestyle food can be had at modest prices (the earliest ones sold plates of food for a pice). In the past few years, There used to be many more places that sold a panfried toast and eggs on street side stalls, I don't see them anymore.But the famous Calcutta Roll and Moghlai Paratha is thriving still, tender white flour pan breads, stuffed with eggs, meat, paneer cheese and what not. Puchkas orFuchka's are wildly popular- crisp, paper thin, deep fried semolina puffy crackers filled with a fiery hot stuffing of potatoes and black gram and then dunked in a spicy tart solution of mint and tamarind, which you then pop in its entirety in your mouth. The next instant, you have an indescribably delicious explosion of flavors and textures that you would never dream of being possible. Elsewhere in India, there are the paler and lesser versions called Gol Gappas and Pani Puris. Lest there is an outcry of protests over my biased review, I plead guilty of having a hopeless bias. As they say in these parts- 'What to do? I am like that only'.
So, now I will go off to eat at my new favourite confectionary store called Kamdhenu, which stands close to my old favourite Sen Mahashay ( Esteemed Mister Sen). Despite its endearing name, it has, alas, been demoted. Such is the cut throat business of food in this city.
May 14, 2018